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lecture to the border

Krzysztof Kaczmar [pl], 25 minutes

description of action: In my performance I used an old fire tank filled with water, placed by the old factory that used to make wooden veneer.
I performed in the evening after twilight and so I used two spotlights to shed some light for the action. The first one was pointed on the stairs by the water, and the other one was lightning to the surface of the water. I was standing on the side in the darkness wearing light jeans and white t-shirt, wearing no shoes. At first I came closer to the pool and I took a fish from a small tank. I held it close to my face and I sat down on little stairs entering the water. I stayed there for a brief moment with a fish in a silence. Later I came down the stairs in to the water, so I had it to the level of my knees. I bend over and I put my face and a fish (which still remained close to my throat) under the water till I lost my breath, and I remained there as long as I could. I went back over the surface to gasp the air, still with the fist in a hand. We were breathing together. I put it's lips by my throat. We came back under water the same way we did it before. Again I lost my breath and suffered. We went back, again to breath and to choke (fish). We came back under water to do the same thing and after I came back from below the water level to breath, but without a fish. I sat down on the stairs again. I was looking at the water for a few moments. I took a sheet of wooden veneer and a black marker. On the first sheet I wrote "I understand". I held the sign toward the pool and I put it on the water (text down) and I pushed it under water as far as I could. I took second sheet and I wrote "what is better?" and in the same time the first veneer started coming back to the surface of the water. I did the same with the second sheet, I put it on to the surface and pushed it, along with the first one under water. I took the third sheet and I wrote "NO!" and I repeated the same action, sinking all three sheets (the first and the second were refused by the water again). When they all came back to the surface I stood up, and walked to the other side of the pool. I walked to dry, dead branch lying on the ground. I started to whisper words to it. One word for one twig. Monolog was very personal. I lifted the branch and put it over the surface of the water. I gently pet the water with it, smearing the words all over the face of the water. When I washed all the words from every twig I put it down the branch on the side.
I walked to the other side of the tank to take a black bag of ash. I thrown the ash to the water from every angle of the tank, like fisherman is throwing groundbait for the fishes. Water became misty, it's reflections partly disappeared. Water border became stronger. I came back to the spot where I left the branch before and I started breaking all the twigs. The branch ended with only one top, like a pointer. I grabbed it and put it over the surface of the water, trying to reach the center of the tank with its tip. I held it few centimeters over the water. When my hands started to weaken I delicately touched the surface, saying "Stop!". Created circles on the water from the top of my pointer, got round, and when they reached edges of the tank.