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Call me if I loose myself
Performance for Marcel Sparmann [de] by Ida Grimsgard [no]

Normally when you get to know people you have a certain awareness for which picture is created. You are actively part of shaping who they think you are. We are trying to control what other people think.

When we started the collaboration, Marcel and I had never met. We knew nothing about each other and were about to create a relation. The proses became an experiment in communication. Could we get to know each other in another way? How could we give away the control of what we were communicating? How could we give our unconsciousness the possibility to talk? Every day we were sending each other morning-letters. The idea is that you in the morning, after waking up, sit down at your computer and write 1-2 pages. And then we send the letters to eight other. The text is not your dreams, but it is not your controlled thoughts either. It is something in the middle. This action we continued with right until we met in Berlin. This was how we got to know each other, how our relation was created.

The text we sent was not a constructed text, it was not what we wanted to share. The text were honest, which can be both very personal and really boring. We created ideas about who the other was without guidelines. I had no idea who Marcel thought I was, and if the picture I had of him was something Marcel would feel comfortable with.

Our project was no longer something coming from me to Marcel. It was a collective collaboration, an exchange. We were both giving and we were both receiving. I appreciated Marcel and his generosity. There were a value in what had been shared. I wanted the performance to be a great present from me to Marcel. When you want to give something wonderful away, but you don't know what it is and you don't know how.

The last days we worked close together in constantly communication. We transformed my struggle in delivering something to Marcel into his own desire of giving the performance to the audience.